If you have any thoughts on how to tidy this sonnet up and make it better, please, please, please leave a comment and let me know what you think.
Your working life slowed by broken shards
Of good intentions and easy promises shattered -
It’s plain to see the dole queue’s on the cards
And the wrenching loss of love and things that mattered.
You hadn’t seen the crisis looming dark,
But some had seen and wondered how you’d go
If times were lean with prospects turning stark -
Your money scarce and hunger a pain you know.
Would you learn the ways of those you once disdained
And find a different way to show your worth?
The golden path that gleamed for you is stained -
If you want to move on, regroup and find some mirth -
Laugh at the things you’d done and said before,
take quiet instead of brash and love it more.