Monday, October 19, 2009

Special

A new poem looking for feedback. I just wrote it and I'd love to know what other people think about it.

My ordinary life

grows less and less

ordinary as I contemplate

the birds, the clouds, the stars.

My life merges

with everything else

and I realise

I am not ordinary,

I am special. As special

as the clouds, each one

different, as special

as the birds, chattering

in a tongue I cannot decipher,

as special as the stars

that look down on us

from a great distance

in time and space.

We are all special, we are,

none of us, ordinary.

Embrace all that is special

in yourself and in everything

around you. I am special,

you are special,

everything is special.




Don't be afraid to be critical about the poem or the subject, critical comment is what I seek. Giving useful critiques is a great skill to learn. Learning to critique the work of others helps you to critique your own work too.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

An ordinary poem on an ordinary life that quickly
tries to become less ordinary. How can such an ordinary person become special. I hope that Jeffery Guess logs on and critiques this. Cheers, Denis Davey

Sharif said...

Only a highly positive and motivated soul will feel and make others feel special. You are one such individual.Peace and blessings to you for writing this.

Carolyn said...

Thank you so much Sharif. I know we can all be special, in our own way.

Anonymous said...

Hhhm, I assume by feedback you would also like critique? I love your poem and the idea, but there are just a couple of things I would change to maybe help it flow better.
************************************************
My ordinary life
grows less ordinary
as I contemplate

the birds,
the clouds,
the stars.

My life merges
with everything else
as I realise

I am not ordinary,
I am special.

As special as the clouds,
each one different,

as special as the birds,
chattering in a strange tongue


as special as the stars
that look down on us

We are all special,
we are,

none of us, ordinary.

Embrace -
all that is special
in yourself and -
in everything around you.

I am special,

you are special,

Everything is special.

Carolyn said...

Anonymous, thank you som much for your critique. I agree that your version reads much better than mine. The only think I don't agree with is the hyphen after 'Embrace -/all that is special' etc.

You have improved my poem, thank you. Who are you?